“You did a really good job today. That was excellent”. Genuine appreciation — a rarity these days.
My self-esteem coupled with my ego surges to new heights never scaled before.
“You could have handled this meeting a little better today”. The tone is simple yet the words are brutal.
I am crestfallen, my self-esteem takes a beating. It will be a bit before it recovers, if at all.
After all, I am human.
I often rely on external sources of self-esteem, such as approval.
It feels so good.
The sweet rush of good feedback lasts all day. I savor it slowly like that Lindt truffle chocolate, peeling each layer, again and again.
I find futile ways to tell other uninformed souls about it — without seeming all too vain.
It is all too obvious.
And then there are days when I just want to curl up into a ball and suck my thumb.
I replay the harsh words again and again.
I wonder why they were spoken. Maybe the messenger was not in a good mood. Maybe he over-exaggerated and it wasn’t so bad, or was it?
The problem is any external source of self-esteem is fickle, like slipping sand.
I can’t use this dry sand to build a structure as important as myself.
It would be foolhardy to allow my own regard for me — which has an impact over everything -to be based on such an unsteady foundation as my ego.
The ego expands and deflates at speeds that leave me dizzy. It colors my perceptions for days to come.
What if I stop for a second and let the mind standstill?
Let the muddy water in the cup settle down.
Internal sources of self-esteem — They belong to me, so I have more control over how to regulate them.
Any external source of self-esteem is a roller coaster.
Most times, I am my own anchor.
In the turmoil of everyday life, I often end up overlooking a very simple fact
Self-esteem is mostly an inside job.
